Archive for March, 2010

Proofreading is a Dying Art

Friday, March 5th, 2010

I present this to you just as I received it: 

*/Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?/* 
 
*Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

*This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
 It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! 
They put in a correction the next day. * 
—————————————————————-
 *I just couldn’t help but send this along. Too funny.*
*Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
*No crap, really? Ya think?* 
*—————————————————————–*
 
*Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
*Now that’s taking things a bit far!* 
 
*———————————————————–* 
*Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
*What a guy!* 
*—————————————————————* 
 
*Miners Refuse to Work after Death
*No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!* 
*—————————————————— * 
 
*Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
*See if that works any better than a fair trial!* 
*——————————————————–* 
 
*War Dims Hope for Peace
*I can see where it might have that effect!* 
* ——————————————————–* 
 
*If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
*Ya think?!* 
*——————————————————– * 
 
*Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
* Who would have thought!* 
*———————————————————* 
 
*Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
*They may be on to something!* 
*———————————————————* 

*Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
*You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?*
*———————————————————-* 
 
*Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
* He probably IS the battery charge!* 
———————————————* 

*New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
*Weren’t they fat enough?!* 
*———————————————–* 
 
*Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
*That’s what he gets for eating those beans!* 
*————————————————-*
 
*Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
*Do they taste like chicken?* 
****************************************** 
 
*Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
*Chainsaw Massacre all over again!* 
 ***************************************** 
 
*Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
*Boy, are they tall!* 
******************************************
 
*And the winner is….* 
*Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

* Did I read that right?* 
******************************************

And We Wonder Why This Country is in the Shape it is!!!!

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Letter by a Florida  teacher…………….    

I almost posted a copy of this “Letter by a Florida teacher…” until at the last moment I decided that it may just be false.  So I did some research and, YES, it is not true. 

As I mentioned before, the Internet is a powerful tool when used for good and it can also be a powerful tool for evil.  So use it wisely and never believe something just because you would like it to be true. 

There are a lot of things wrong with the way our government uses our taxpayers’ money and we do need to take action to stop this senseless spending before it is too late. 

However, spreading falsehoods to get people outraged is not the way to go.  Do take action and do speak up when you feel something is wrong. 

First, however, do your research before you speak out to ensure you have your facts straight.  Emotion has its place and getting emotional about an injustice is good as long as how you direct your emotion does not infringe on another’s right to his/her views. 

Yes, Americans are getting angry at how we seem to treat non-citizens better than citizens.  Just make sure you know the full story, the true story before you take action. 

Winter Storms to Distort US Jobless Figures

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

WASHINGTON, March 1 (Reuters) – White House economic adviser Larry Summers said on Monday winter blizzards were likely to distort U.S. February jobless figures, which are due to be released on Friday.

“The blizzards that affected much of the country during the last month are likely to distort the statistics. So it’s going to be very important … to look past whatever the next figures are to gauge the underlying trends,” Summers said in an interview with CNBC, according to a transcript.

Summers, director of the White House’s National Economic Council, also said the United States was closely monitoring Greece’s debt problems and U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner was encouraged by what he had heard from European officials about the issue.

“With respect to Europe, I am obviously very concerned about what’s happening in Greece and Portugal, in Spain, in Italy, on the European continent,” Summers said.

“I think there have been increasing signs of recognition both in Greece and in the major countries of Europe that this is a situation that has to be managed; that combination of getting the Greek budget under better control and providing more support is necessary to stabilize this situation.”

First Global Warming is affecting our lives and now winter storms are putting people out of work. Who would have thought?

 And to think these are the people that are “running” our country.  I say “running” tongue-in-cheek, so to speak, because they can only run our country when we allow them. 

Yes, I was shocked when I read the above.  Can you imagine anyone actually falling for such nonsense.  Opps, the president must have because he chose this moron to be the director of the White House’s National Economic Council.  Maybe he was chosen because he will say anything his boss tells him to say. 

—After shaking my head and walking around in a daze for hours trying to understand how anyone in their right mind would spew such idiotic dribble, I went on to his second statement about his concern for Greece’s debt problems. 

Perhaps we should send Greece 9.3 billion dollars to help bail them out.  I just hope we let the ink dry on our freshly printed dollar bills before we ship them over to Greece.

I wonder if Greece will even accept our bailout money, freshly printed for them?  After all the more we print the less valuable they become.  Did anyone even think about that? 

So why are our Federal Reserve printing presses running 24/7? That’s an easy answer. 

If our government taxes the good citizens any more they may revolt.  The only other way to pay for all of their wasteful and foolish bailouts and social programs is to print up more dollar bills. 

As with all things, there comes a time when they must pay the piper.  I just hope we good American citizens come to our senses before that time comes.

An Easy Way to Loose Weight and Improve Your Health

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Life is meant to be simple.  However, we humans seem to have a habit of making simple things hard.  Perhaps that is why we struggle so hard trying to make a decent life for ourselves and our family. One easy way t loose weight and improve your health is to simply vow to yourself to never use any product that contains aspartame.  Below is a link to an article explaining further about its dangers. 

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2010/03/02/old-monsanto-food-toxin-disguised-under-new-name.aspx  As a bonus I’ll throw in another way to loose weight and improve your health.  This is easy also and you do not need to check food labels.  Train yourself to take a 30 minute walk everyday.  As you get in better condition work on increasing your pace while you walk.   

While on your walk think of all the things you are thankful for.  To help inspire you on your walks, watch one of my short inspirational and motivational videos which you can enjoy for free at http://Motivate.ExperienceHappinessNow.com  

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MARCH
Wednesday, March 3rd
5 PM Pacific / 6 PM Mountain / 7 PM Central / 8 PM Eastern
Wednesday, March 10th
11 AM Pacific / 12 PM Mountain / 1 PM Central / 2 PM Eastern
Sunday, March 14th
5 PM Pacific / 6 PM Mountain / 7 PM Central / 8 PM Eastern
 APRIL
Tuesday, April 6th
6 PM Pacific / 7 PM Mountain / 8 PM Central / 9 PM Eastern
Thursday, April 8th
5 PM Pacific / 6 PM Mountain / 7 PM Central / 8 PM Eastern
Sunday, April 11th
5 PM Pacific / 6 PM Mountain / 7 PM Central / 8 PM Eastern
 

Remember to register at http://Taxes.PoorToGreatCredit.com for your preferred date and time.  You might even learn some ideas on how you can save on your taxes for 2009. 

What do Marriage Counseling, Doritos, and the Vatican have in Common?

Monday, March 1st, 2010

I’m going to cover 3 things today, two to lift your spirits
and one to get you to re-think what you eat and /or change your eating habits.

First: Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage.

When Asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful Listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been Married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, Loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met Needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the Therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to Stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist Turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three Times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off Here on
Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”

Second: Doritos Chips

I just read an article about, of all things, Doritos chips. It was about their
new advertising campaign. This really shocked me as I hope it does you. I seldom
buy chips and now I will never buy Doritos brand of anything. (Always read the
labels to see who makes the product.)

The main message was that “You would kill for a Doritos.”

 At first glance it sort of seems innocent enough.

You need to read the article and watch the videos if
you have the stomach for it’s implied sickness.

Visit here:

http://www.naturalnews.com/028264_Doritos_advertising.html

Do yourself and your family a favor and cut down on junk foods and junk drinks.
This is an excellent reason to boycott Doritos.

Third: VATICAN HUMOUR

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he
doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the
curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so
we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the
Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! What
if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to
work that morning.

‘Who’s going to tell?’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.

The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph or 123 mph. (Remember, the
Pope is German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps
the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches.

But the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going
205 kph.

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, ‘All the more reason!’

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘Who do you have there, the mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘ A senator?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘The Prime Minister?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious,
Chief: ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘His chauffeur is the Pope!’

Give me a sense of humor, Lord,
Give me the grace to see a joke,
To get some humour out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.